Send your DNA into space!

“A billion years from now, when everything on Earth we’ve ever made has crumbled into dust, when the continents are changed beyond recognition and our species is unimaginably altered or extinct, the Voyager will still speak for us”.
– Carl Sagan

Where will you be 2 billion years from now?

Sadly. Someday, somehow, life on earth will come to an end. It might be due to wars, floods, global warming, nuclear apocalypse, superbugs, alien contact, bioterror, pandemic, the Hadron Collider, a massive catastrophe or even the expansion of the sun into a red giant, but by whatever means, Our role as a civilization is to preserve, promote and perpetuate the best of ourselves by cultivating ourselves beyond planet earth and to hopefully colonize the greater universe with our grace. Today our solar system is filled with plasma, gas, dust, rock, and radiation- but very little life; just a thin film around the third rock from the Sun. And what a paucity of fabulousness therein! We can change that, and We are offering You the chance to be involved. Why are we telling you this? Because you can contribute to the project. You can help us preserve the human race’s unique profile and all of its glory, simply by sending your DNA or digital data to us, we will put it on a rocket, launch it out of orbit, out of our solar system, and far, far away.

Be part of the first human generation to send DNA into outer space.

By sending your DNA into space, you are protecting the billions of years of evolution that are folded and coddled within each of your cells, within their potentialities and trajectories, and assuring a part of You will float in deep space far into the future to other planets, gem-planets, and possibly meet with or propagate other intelligent and cosmopolitan civilizations! In other words, someday your DNA may land on a fertile planet, and start life in a different world! Your DNA will exist forever, preserving and transporting the human genome’s information billions of light years from earth, and perhaps allowing the reunion of the lost tribes in the distant future! Humanity is just too wonderful to limit ourselves to such a tiny, parochial encampment! Once the preserve of multi-millionaires, now everyday people like Yourself can gain access to the ultimate in longevity treatments, the ultimate in future genealogies! We will send your DNA, via a commercial space agency, on a voyage through space. It will leave the solar system on a permanent celestial journey, and will survive billions of years to come, with the potential to land on a fertile planet and help start new life! We will send you a complete kit that contains everything you need to collect your DNA. After you send your DNA back to us, we will put your DNA inside a capsule and launch it, via an already scheduled commercial space mission. Sending your DNA into space will cost you only $87, and you will be spreading life throughout the universe. What is this Kit? In the package you will receive you will find a swab pack and instructions for use (see below). After collecting your DNA sample, put it in an enclosed envelope, and return it to us. We will separate the DNA from the tissue and send it into space. The capsule, in the first stage of the space voyage, will travel 36,000,000 miles out of the atmosphere, and from there, it will continue through space, leaving the solar system on a permanent celestial journey. In about 40,000 years the DNA will reach the nearest solar system, and from there…? Dude, it’s like ejaculating into space!

Providing support for your DNA

We are currently collecting DNA and tissue samples of the estimated 6,500 species that are necessary for our bodies to function (those parasites, symbiotics and etc that enable us to digest, breathe, shed skin etc.) You will be pleased to know We also offer DNA services for your pets, favourite flowers or perennials, psychedelic plants deemed necessary, butterflies, mosses and lichens and nematodes etcetera. If it has DNA it can enter space with us!

PANSPERMIA: Are We All Aliens?

Robert Temple’s “The prehistory of panspermia: astrophysical or metaphysical?” contains a survey of all these early beliefs, in order to present a pre-history to these conceptions and show that such ideas appear to be as old as civilization itself. In the 1800s, French chemist Louis Pasteur proposed that spontaneous generation of life could not have occurred on Earth. British physicist Lord Kelvin and others jumped on Pasteur’s bandwagon and suggested that life might have come from space, and in fact suggested that, like giant interstellar sperm, comets might transport the seeds of life from collapsed space clouds to fledgling and otherwise barren planets, depositing their life-giving substances in a colossal impact. Up until very recently, just two leading researchers have carried the loving weight of the panspermia torch, a sector of scientific and philosophical enquiry heretofore shunned by scientists and god-lovers alike. The renowned Sir Fred Hoyle, known for his studies of star structure and the origin of the chemical elements in stars, has worked with Chandra Wickramasinghe over the past three decades to pioneer the modern theory of panspermia. In the 1970s, Wickramasinghe and Hoyle found traces of life in the dust around distant stars. The duo then broadened the panspermia theory, arguing that a continual rain of life-altering stuff from space- including germs that arrive in cycles related to solar activity- has deeply an continuously affected the wanton course of evolution. The seeds, they say, are still coming. This year, Wickramasinghe found that 2,200 pounds of bacterial material fall to the planet every day, some of which is “highly evolved, with an evolutionary history closely related to life that exists on Earth”. That’s 20,000 bacteria per square meter of the Earth’s surface. Some researchers attribute SARS to panspermiatic origins.

Varieties of possible earth-sourced panspermia

As We mentioned, panspermia could also emanate from earth, seeding other planets and solar systems with life over the Earth’s history. There are a number of ways in which this is possible, and We will mention but a few here.
– Unlike the extraordinarily large surface impacts needed to eject interplanetary meteorites. Charged microbes could also be propelled outwards from a planet at high speed by “magnetospheric plasmoids”- independent structures of plasma and magnetic fields that can be swept away from the Earth’s magneto-sphere. Hitching rides on these structures could accelerate microbes to speeds capable of taking them out of the solar system and on to the planets of other stars. And because of the potential for a steady outflow of the particles pushed by the electric fields, a single life-bearing world might seed an entire galaxy with life!
– Theoretically, by humans traveling to other celestial bodies such as the moon, there is a chance that they carry with them microorganisms or other organic materials ubiquitous on Earth. The same can be said for unmanned probes manufactured on Earth. This is a concern among space researchers who try to prevent Earth contamination from distorting data, especially in regards to finding possible extraterrestrial life. Even the best sterilization techniques cannot guarantee that potentially invasive biologic or organic materials will not be unintentionally carried along.
– Adding to the accumulation of debris and spacejunk in the orbits of earth, it has been found that most objects in space are coated with a thin layer of fecal matter- accumulated sewage ejected from space stations and shuttles orbiting the earth. A. Clarke has speculated that this could be a clue to the beginnings to life on Earth. Aliens or ETI could have released/dumped their shit, garbage and etcetera somewhere in our solar system, and the organisms (like bacteria, worms, parasites etc) remaining in their shit could have seeded earth to begin life and the heady trajectory to our civilizations. A new level to evolution and hierarchies.

Directed Panspermia

In suggesting that other civilizations could have sent their DNA to earth, the obvious question is, why shouldn’t we do the same?

A second prominent proponent of panspermia was the late Nobel prize winner Professor Francis Crick, who along with Leslie Orgel proposed the theory of “directed panspermia” in 1973. This theory suggests that the ‘seeds of life’ may have been purposely spread by an advanced extraterrestrial civilization. Crick argues that small grains containing DNA, or the building blocks of life, fired randomly in all directions is the best, most cost effective strategy for seeding life on a compatible planet at some time in the future. The strategy might have been pursued by a civilization facing catastrophic annihilation like ours, or hoping to terraform planets for later colonization, and this is how Earth received Life.
This is where the Fauxist’s Space DNA project comes in. We are proposing that directed panspermia be used from Earth to new solar systems to expand life in space. In our own terms, DNA and microbial payloads (packets of freeze-dried DNA and microbial life) launched by solar sails at speeds up to 0.0001 c (30,000 m/s) would reach targets at 10 to 100 light-years in 0.1 million to 1 million years. Fleets of such capsules can be aimed at clusters of new stars in star-forming clouds where they may land on planets, or be captured by asteroids and comets and later delivered to planets.  Clients/participants are able to choose a destination (naturally within the realms of a certain degree of error) to which their DNA will be sent, for an additional cost. Popular sites so far include: Clusters of star-forming clouds where life would not have had time to evolve, based on the terrestrial analogue. Payloads may also contain extremophiles (forms of life adept at living in extreme heat, cold, pressure etc) for diverse environments and cyanobacteria similar to early microorganisms. Hardy multicellular organisms (rotifer cysts) may be included to induce higher evolution. Even the nearest stars known to have planets are many light-years away, and none have been shown to have habitable planets. Some nearby stars are becoming more interesting, however. The star Iota Horologii, just 56 light-years away, is the first to have a planet in an Earth-like orbit and to show other signs of solar system formation like our own. After a journey of more than 5 million years, the packets will arrive at distant planets, take root, flourish and introduce life there as may have happened here on Earth so many billions of years ago. Our proposal sends a swarm of microbial packets, each containing as little as a few grams of freeze-dried biomatter or other organisms riding outward in a flotilla of solar sails. The technology relies on the gentle but steady pressure of light to propel the sails through space. The sails will target young planets to seed, often with the help of robotic navigational aides. The probes will also alight on meteorites or carbonaceous asteroids, where readily available nutrients could foster the microbial life as an intermediate step until slamming into a young planet at a future date. The proposal, which We believe could be feasible by 2050, obviously flips on its head the historical theory of Panspermia. Additional dispersal methods include: electronic/magnetic projection of particles into space, small catapult containers and randomized coordinates.

The politics of Directed Panspermia

Politically, such a form of directed panspermia is altruistic and may be motivated by life-centered “panbiotic ethics” that aims to secure and propagate our form of gene/protein organic life, and to establish life as a controlling force in nature. Deliberate directed panspermia would seed space objects. The securing of future life would need to balance against interference with science. This interference can be minimized by targeting remote solar systems where life would not have evolved yet. Seeding a few hundred young solar systems would secure future life while leaving billions of stars pristine for exploration and exploitation. This project essentially democraticises the colonization of space, wresting control from the hands of the super rich galactic pioneers and giving everyone a chance at spawning a civilization. With the increasing threat of the preponderance of apocalyptic scenarios threatening all life on earth, directed panspermia offers a uniquely sophisticated and long-term solution.

How to get involved
–    See the contact information at the end of this document for contact details, FAQ’s, and steps in ordering your kit.
–    As We wrote above, your kit includes all you need to start your DNA’s historic journey into space. In the package you will receive you will find a swab pack and instructions for use. After collecting your DNA sample, you simply need to put it in the enclosed envelope, and return it to us. We will separate the DNA from the tissue and send it into space.
–    The entire process, including postage, tissue preparations, and launch overheads, costs you ONLY $87! A vanishingly small price to pay for the possibility of galactic immortality!
–    Give to yourself and your possible progeny, what may be the ultimate gift in adventure and genealogical intrigue! Send us a tissue sample today!

Contact this address for all information, enquiries and ordering:
fauxist_monthly_handful@feelings.com

Do not hesitate to contact us with any questions or specific requests you may have. See also the Digital Space Time-capsule publication for information on sending your digital life into the universe(s).