4 Fauxists Visit the True City of Fauxism on PCP.
Posted by Regrette Etcetera on May 18, 2010
An excerpted transcript of a 4-hour audio tape, recorded 12/3/2007
In this exercise in speculative literature, 4 Regrette Etceteras meet some of their ancestors, the populace, and comment variously on the constitution and sights of the future city of Fauxism.
Location of Experiment: Outside Portland, OR.
Those present: Regrette Etcetera, Regrette Etcetera, Regrette Etcetera, Regrette Etcetera.
Note: We have deliberately obscured the identities of the speakers to suit the character of Fauxist identity. The numbers indicate a sectional excerpt, cut or change in speaker, and suggest a rough chronology (thus there are gaps in the sequence).
1. I HATE SOMETIMES TO DESCRIBE SOMETHINGS because they just don’t seem to make sense–but I see all these–like cubist art–like crystals–a combination of crystals–a pinkish-gold in colour, shining very brightly, especially at the center. If were an artist I could draw you a picture of them–like quarts–all fitting into each other like the parts of a Chinese puzzle–big, fairly large–like it’s in the center of a room–almost like something you’d see in a museum or science exhibit–like something you’d see in science fiction. It all seems to be standing like it’s balanced there–pivotal–and it revolves very slowly, and shines and scintillates–radiates–while it revolves–beautiful–just beautiful! Must be at least ten feet high, I’d say, and about four feet across at the widest point. It’s very irregular, of course. Sort of tapers off at the top and bottom–many pieces and blocks!
2. THE RECTANGULAR SHAPED CRYSTALS STICK OUT IN EVERY DIRECTION, all fitting precisely together in one gigantic mass. And each crystal itself is quite large–they look like they could be a foot by six inches rectangular–six inches deep. (Tongues) The room is very large and rather strange–like nothing I’ve seen on this earth–and as this thing revolves, this beautiful strange light emanates from this and lights the whole room–almost like a light show, that causes the light in the room to change and glow and change colours–blue and gold and red! (Speaks in Tongues) I don’t know: Maybe it’s like one of those things Ezekiel saw, like eyes within and without, and light radiating, and colours like the rainbow–crystals.
3. AND I HAVE THE STRANGE IMPRESSION THAT THIS THING HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH US–like it’s so perfectly made; though it’s irregular, everything fits so beautiful and perfectly–it’s so beautiful–light and colours so beautiful–like it had something to do with us! Almost as though it has some influence on us. I don’t know what in the world that could be! (Tongues)
4. BUT I HAVE THE PECULIAR FEELING LIKE THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL SIGN–it’s so perfectly designed and everything fits in place, and everything is under control –perfect control. (Tongues and weeping)
5. THERE’S DARKNESS THAT FIGHTS THAT LIGHT–darkness that actually fights those rays–but it just continues to rotate slowly, deliberately, calmly, as though it was at perfect ease–and nothing can stop it–absolutely invincible! It will go on no matter what! Everything is planned–everything is ordered–in decency and order! Everything is controlled–under perfect control–and nothing can happen without orders–without Will!–And it comes back to me what the Man told us though my dead grandmother that time, in a place not far from here–that He is at the controls, and that these little nothings are mere puppets in His hands. How beautiful! How beautiful! Boy, I wish I could paint a picture of that! …..Ummmm Ummmm Ummmm (Tongues and shakes head) (Long pause) (Tongues) Did any of you see it at all! Anything at all? Did you see that red, red glow–that red light? (Tongues) I’m sorry, Forgive me, help me, forgive me for my fears! (Tongues) (Lightly puckers lips in a kiss to someone) What do you see? Did you see anything at all?
9. (Cups hands around eyes and remains in this position) WOW! THAT’S A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT–ALL GOLD AND YELLOW! It’s as though there are thousands of glass or crystal tubes–they come up from somewhere–like from the floor–and they bend outward in a big circle, and they shine with the most beautiful golden light. I don’t know how big they are or what to compare them to but from here I’d say they were, I guess, about six feet high. The circle must be at least twenty feet wide–and from where they bend outward and upward in a perfect circle and all the same angles they must be about four feet long from the bend to the end. They look like those quartz tubes that carry that laser beam–only it’s not red–but beautifully golden yellow. If it’s the Control Center, it sure is pretty! Maybe it’s symbolic! But here, everything was in one perfect pattern–everything same height and exactly same angle–the shadows are kind of blue and purple! I don’t understand why there doesn’t seem to be anybody around…..
10. GOODNIGHT! GOODNIGHT! UMH! THE PEOPLE ARE SO SMALL I didn’t even see them! I take it all back! Those things are gigantic! Goodness Gracious!–Those things must be tall as a building! Thank You, Umm! Umm! Immense! I know there’s no room in this world that big!
11. Do you suppose there going to be buildings in it like this–so huge? I had to look way down to the floor. It was so far down it seemed dark down there. And at the base there are steps leading up to the dais, or platform, but it was so far down I thought the base was smooth! The people look just like little specks! It must be absolutely enormous! I never saw inside any building in this world so huge–a gigantic thing! The building–it seems like the walls are clear and like thick, thick, thick glass–thick, clear glass! It’s so strange–such a strange shape. The walls come up from way down there–it must be further than the Twin Towers was–and they come up and curve inward, and then they come to like points in different angles, like a lot peaks–only everything is very symmetrical–absolutely perfect Everything is so symmetrical–so beautiful–perfectly clear building–not a flaw–just like it was molded into one big piece! That circle of those crystal rods must be acres!–Which shows you, if you can’t see something to compare it with, you have no idea or perspective at all–and I couldn’t see how huge it was until I looked down there and saw those people! There is just no building in the world that big! Those glass rods–each one of them must be as big around as 30 or 40 feet! If that person is anywhere near six feet high, the base of that rod has to be at least 30 or 40 feet thick!
12. (Tongues) DOESN’T ANYBODY ELSE SEE IT? Can’t you see it? Are you trying? Those rods must be a thousand feet high, and they reach out in almost a canopy in every direction–and this building must be absolutely unbelievably large–almost like a gigantic temple or something. It comes up at curved, rounded points. I’d have to show it to you, or you’d have to tune in! And everything seems to operate in a kind of silent music–quiet music–beautiful–beautiful–just like the harmony of the spheres–the music of the stars!
13. WOW! IF THE CITY IS LIKE THAT, IT’S GONNA REALLY BE SOMETHING! It must be the most beautiful place there ever could possibly be! It would take a City almost fifteen hundred miles high to hold a building like this! And there are lots of buildings! I bet there were people at the bottom of that crystal! If that compares anything in size to that other, my measurements were wrong! Those crystals must have been hundreds of feet…I’m just to tired! (He is too tired to hold arms up any longer, and takes hands from eyes.) Seemed like everything else interfered, but when I put my hands up like this, I can see better. If I shut out all this other radiation I can see better. Like looking though a pair of binoculars. Did you know that you all glow with light–you all are light sources?–Even the walls? But I have to shut all that out to see! (Cups hands around eyes, but lets arms fall again) My arms are so tired! I
14. I’M SO TIRED! My arms…(Tries to lift arms) It’s so silly to worry! Just think, Gina is enjoying all that! Whew! Us and our little mud-bound man never even dreamed of such things! I’m sorry, but I’m tired!
15. (Regrette Etcetera is sitting over in the corner with her hands cupped over her eyes, also.)
16. WOW! I never dreamed of such a place–nobody could ever imagine such a place!–And those walls! Whew! Whew! Sheer, sheer walls–even sloped inward! That’s construction you couldn’t possibly have! It would cave in–almost like arches. So many, many peaks! The whole building at the base is just circular. The whole wall is like an arch. Each one is at a different angle. Each one ends at a different height–but they all are in a perfect pattern symmetry!
17. THAT OTHER BUILDING WAS DIFFERENT. It had sort of opaque walls, except for this one huge window, almost like a flat roof or ceiling. The roof was suspended–this crystal clear wall through which this light seemed to shine over on the right side–I guess that thing goes all the way around–all the way around–this huge window goes all the way around!
18. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, but suddenly there is a big tree, and just like it’s being chopped at around the base–just like a woodsman fells a tree and chops all around the bottom (smiles slightly) till finally the tree kinda slides off the base and falls. (This comes here at this point, but doesn’t seem to have any relationship to the rest.)
19. (Pause) How beautiful! Must be a view over the tops of the buildings. There’s this great huge light blue transparent dome, and all these other domes–different sizes! Beautiful light! (Smiles) Doesn’t anybody else see it? Can’t you see it? Are you really trying?
20. WOW! WHAT SHAPES! There’s a building shaped like one of those Christmas bows all interleaved! If that isn’t something! They couldn’t build anything like that on earth. I don’t think it would stand up! They don’t have things at angles like that!–and some built like a flower–the walls overlap, joined together like the petals of a flower!
21. There’s one shaped like–the walls are red–not bright red–almost like that dark metallic red–all the building materials seem to be transparent or at least translucent. It’s really a beautiful red; it’s dark, but it’s not dark, `cause the light shines right through it–like ruby!–Like one great big ruby, and it bulges out all around! It’s round and bulges out, and then there are these great big arches, almost like it’s suspended from these arches–these arches go out first and then come in, and just go over part way, and then there’s a big hole in the roof completely open at the top! Hallelujah! Inside is all garden–such a beautiful, beautiful garden–beautiful gardens! Wow! The colours are so beautiful–so beautiful–unbelievable!
22. I’m so tired!
23. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IN THE WORLD THOSE THINGS ARE! THEY’RE SO FUNNY, like a whole row of gigantic umbrellas–only the top of every one of them is shaped like a carnation–like a whole row of carnations–beautiful white stems! They’re red and yellow, and even a little bit brown and pink! I wonder what they have those for–I wonder why they’d need them–`cause you wouldn’t need shade from the sunshine, since there’s not supposed to be any sunshine! Just everything is lighted–everything is light–beautiful–not too bright–but bright and light–seems like there’s light everywhere–doesn’t come from any particular source–it’s just everywhere! Living in another world! But this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen! Oh wow! All kinds of peculiar shapes! There’s one that comes up with straight…Oh, there’s no way to describe it–Why don’t you try to see it? The outer walls go in and out and come up to points and the roof is–well, there isn’t any roof–there’s just kind of a bowl shape! (Shakes head) Help them! Oh, I’m tired,!….
27. UMMM! SO DARK OUT THERE! The walls of the city are transparent–you can see through them! I never thought about that! The wall around the outside is transparent–beautiful layers of different colours that you can see through–and it’s so dark out there–some places it’s dark! Seems like outside, the world is still affected by night and day apparently, whereas the City itself never, never gets dark. The city just shines, from everywhere it seems! O Man, I couldn’t begin to describe everything!–I don’t even understand it–how could I describe it?
28. THINGS ARE MOVING–A BIG ROUND BALL with all those sort of fluted fins soaring along–blue and silver things! Wow! Reminds me of those crystal paintings–that painting Mother used to have that she said the guy made with music and colour and crystalisation–so beautiful! I’m just so tired! I don’t see any gold bricks, but that pathway is sure beautiful–like all the rocks are diamonds and crystals and precious stones. All the rocks along the pathway are all beautiful stones, like diamonds and opals and rubies, and all different precious stones line the pathway like gravel! Beautiful, beautiful–and the flowers are so beautiful! Even the trees are different colours. I never saw trees like that before–different coloured trees! Can’t anybody see it all?
29. (Lifts himself up partially from the chair in which he is sitting, and peers over the arms of the chair.) Wow! Even when I’m up high like this I don’t get scared, `cause I don’t seem to be able to even fall.
30. WELL, THAT MUST BE THE FAUXIST CITY! That’s all it could possibly be. Couldn’t even begin to have anything on earth like that! I don’t know why the stairways are curved, but everybody seems to float up and down them.
31. THERE’S A MOUNTAIN, AND IT’S SO HUGE–that must be the top of the City! Hummm!–Everything up there is amber–beautiful, beautiful amber–everything shines! Must be something very, very important!
32. Well, it could be done. What’s the name of that guy?–Tom what? Strange World of Tom….Somebody–the guy that could project….put it right on tape! The flesh is so weak–it must take a lot of energy out of you–seems like you project almost at the same time you’re seeing it!
33. IF I JUST KEEP MY EYES SHUT, I CAN SEE MORE and go on a regular tour!
34. THAT’S ABSOLUTELY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I EVER SAW IN MY WHOLE LIFE. I never saw anything like it. That river is like a canal–with walks on both sides. If that isn’t a strange thing about those walks being different coloured!
35. REGRETTE ETCETERA: I SAW IT, DAD–I SAW IT! You were holding me by the hand, walking me down the path.
36. REGRETTE ETCETERA: I WAS WALKING DOWN THE PATH WITH SOMEBODY. I was so fascinated by those beautiful things!
37. Regrette Etcetera: You kept saying: ” I always wanted to show you what the story was like–I always wanted to show you!”
38. REGRETTE ETCETERA: I wanted so much for one of you to see what it was like!
39. Regrette Etcetera: You were telling me, “Here’s the great Space City–and the teeth for the gates.”
40. REGRETTE ETCETERA:. Anybody that could build a place like that…you don’t have to worry! This world is just ridiculous!–Just a cheap imitation compared to that! Just so beautiful! I never saw such bright green grass! Everything’s so beautiful!
41. YOU GUYS GO ON TO BED. I THINK I’LL STAY HERE A WHILE. Maybe they’ll let me sleep here. Here nobody ever seems to get tired. They looked at me kind of funny because I want to lie down. The grass isn’t even cold or wet. It’s like a nice, soft warm carpet. I think I’ll just lay down here and go to sleep!
42. (After long pause) O.K., I’m sorry! They say if I go to sleep here I won’t come back!
43. REGRETTE ETCETERA: THERE’S A LION, and he comes over to you and starts licking you on your face to wake you up. And a little lamb comes over and sits down and the lion is smiling at you!
44. REGRETTE ETCETERA: THANK YOU, IF YOU GO TO SLEEP HERE, YOU’LL WAKE UP FOREVER, but then you can’t go back! So I gotta wake up! It would be so easy! All I have to do is just go to sleep, and I can just be like all the rest of them! I can’t go to sleep! There’s so much to do! We could all go to sleep and go right in. But there are a whole lot more who you’ve got to get first!
45. REGRETTE ETCETERA: I’M TAKING YOU BY THE HAND, and saying, “Come on, Daddy; there are a whole lot of others we have to get and bring back to see it!”
46. REGRETTE ETCETERA: (Tongues and weeping) FOR THEIR SAKES I MUST GO BACK. Almost made it. Just a little bit more and I’d have gone to sleep! I’m so tired! Where are we going, Sweetheart Honey?
47. REGRETTE ETCETERA: WE’RE WALKING DOWN THE PATH THIS TIME. We’re coming down this hill all sparkling…
48. REGRETTE ETCETERA: Thank You. (Cries and sighs) We see all these people we love, and that we know. Everybody’s waving goodbye.
49. REGRETTE ETCETERA: WE STILL HAVE TO GET MORE, and they’re happy we can go back!
50. REGRETTE ETCETERA: THEY’RE SO GLAD! LIKE HAVING TO LEAVE HOME AND GO TO WAR–but they’re not sad about it–Isn’t that something? So glad, so happy–just like they’re cheering us! (Smiles happily) Like they cheer the soldiers and knights when they go out the gate.
51. (Wipes the tears from his eyes.) (Pause) It’s so dark out..
52. BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! THAT WAS WORTH THE TRIP! What else did you see, Honey, while we were there? I’m glad you were there!
53. Regrette Etcetera: You were just leading me by the hand, taking me on a tour!
54. REGRETTE ETCETERA: Everybody wanted to hold Daddy’s hand–My hands aren’t big enough! That’s the most amazing sight I ever saw in my life–so many sizes and shapes, and designs–spirals and cones and spheres- every conceivable geometric form, and no two are alike.–So beautiful–and the materials are just unearthly! We’ve got to tell the others how beautiful it is going to be–tell the others so they’ll come!
55. OH, MY ARM GOT SO TIRED!–Maybe it was because I was holding your hand–I don’t know! We haven’t got those buildings, and those flowers, and those trees, and that grass and all! Oooh–I’m afraid to open my eyes! I’m afraid I’ll forget what it looks like!
56. REGRETTE ETCETERA: I KEPT SEEING THIS PICTURE OF ALL THESE PEOPLE STANDING OUTSIDE THE WALL OF THE CITY, and these great big pearls, and these people were looking over the wall, and they wanted to come in, but they couldn’t–and we kept telling them, “This is just for us”
57. REGRETTE ETCETERA: SECOND-RATE CITIZENS! Isn’t that pitiful? Oh so pitiful!
58. Honey, you must have been trying to wake me up `cause you kept pulling me!
59. REGRETTE ETCETERA: THE BIG LION CAME OVER AND KEPT LICKING YOU ON THE FACE, like it was trying to wake you up!
60. REGRETTE ETCETERA: SEEMED LIKE YOU KEPT PULLING ON ME. You wanted me to go. Like you used to do when you were little. “Daddy, we gotta go–we gotta go! Regrette Etcetera was always so insistent, like we had to do what she wanted to! Isn’t that funny–she just didn’t want me to go to sleep there! Why didn’t you let me sleep there, Honey? I was so tired, Sweetheart! How could you be little again, Sweetheart? You got so upset, just like when you were little! She’d stomp her little foot and cry: “We gotta go–we gotta go!” She used to get so upset at me because I was so slow! I think if I hadn’t had help, I wouldn’t have made it! I would have gone to sleep right there! It was so nice and soft and I was so tired! They looked at me so funny, like they were amused because I wanted to sleep!
62. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME BACK! But I don’t want to open my eyes, I’m sorry!
63. I SAW ABNER AND YOUR GRANDFATHER! Wow! Gina was real tall, looking over everybody’s head and telling us that we can’t all come and enjoy it right now–we can’t all come and give our lives for the cause right now!
64. YOU SURE MUST HAVE BEEN PULLING ON MY HAND, HONEY!–My arm was limp!… if Regrette Etcetera wasn’t so damn stubborn–she always got her way!
65. I saw Grandfather standing by Gina!
66. I’M HUNGRY! WE’D HAVE HAD SOME NICE FRUIT IF WE HAD STAYED THERE! I didn’t get a bit hungry when I was up there but I sure did get tired! I guess I didn’t have the right kind of body! You just float–it’s really wonderful! Even when you’re walking, you’re kinda floating! It doesn’t seem like your feet hardly touch the ground! It must be like the moon walk–weightlessness!
67. I COULD PROJECT THE PICTURE TO YOU IF I TRIED–but I think that would be too hard! Boy, that sure would have made some travel film! All the time I’d try to project there was a red light that would glow!
68. THOSE PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE WALLS ARE WATCHING US NOW–and they’ll be watching us then!
69. THAT MOUNTAIN–THE TOP OF THE CITY–I was afraid to go up there!
70. YOU MUST HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE POWER TO DRAW IT IN YOURSELF. What has the most power? The broadcasting station! But the receiver has to have some power! A TV has as much as 300,000 watts of power–those VHF stations. A UHF station has as much sometimes as a million watts of power. You take one of those little transistor radios–has nine volts, and almost no amperage–so small that it’s just…it only has a fraction of watt–but it’s got to have some power, and it has to be tuned in and turned on! It’s as though the atmosphere has to be almost electrical! in a way almost electrical–some kind of energy. And you just gotta have some power and be turned on and tuned in to the right frequency. I felt like somebody there was just not turned on! –you can hear something–the power of the radio itself, and also the station! When you don’t even hear the hum, you know it’s dead it was just like there were shadows–time and again there were shadows!
71. TO REGRETTE ETCETERA: YOU WERE LIKE YOU WERE RIGHT THERE BY MY SIDE, and I was talking to you over my shoulder about everything!
72. it’s like you’re trying to get two radios tuned in together on the same frequency!
73. LATELY, SINCE WE’VE BEEN HAVING THOSE REVELATIONS ABOUT THE SPIRIT WORLD…
74. That other building that I was trying to describe was like a King’s crown!
75. IT WAS ONLY AT THE VERY END THAT I EVEN SAW THE PEOPLE CLOSE UP. I guess I just really saw the people I was looking for!
76. They’re such a cheap imitation–like a little toy model of the real thing!
77. IF ONLY ONE PERSON IS OUT OF TUNE, IT SEEMS TO CREATE STATIC and a possible channel for the Enemy. And this creates interference! It’s almost like static on a radio!
78. I NEVER THOUGHT BEFORE OF OUR CITY AS HAVING BIG BUILDINGS. I used to imagine maybe like apartment houses–mansions were arranged as apartments! And I never realised there was so much colour! I thought it was all that crystal colour–and that is the predominant colour–but it’s just full of colour! It’s as though the light is that colour–a kind of a golden light–and it emanates from everywhere–nut is especially strong up there at the top–at that amber peak! Now that top was almost like a mountain valley–like it was surrounded with mountains, made or built! There was a beautiful artistry about the way these things were around an amphitheater. I had the feeling that that was where the leader was. I don’t even know if I was allowed to go up there!
79. YOU KNOW, YOU GET SUCH A FEELING OF YOUR OWN IMPORTANCE. It was as though the Heavenly court was in session up there, and of course there were visitors in the city, but it wasn’t that important. But like they weren’t even conscious of my being a visitor! \
80. I WAS CONSCIOUS OF MY BODY EVERY NOW AND THEN, especially when you would speak or there was noise. It would detract…Apparently me sitting here in this hotel room–I was tired, and that affected me over there! My body had some kind of pull on my spirit.
81. I NEVER DREAMED IT WAS LIKE THAT–I’m so surprised! That time I saw the vision of Martha and the thrones, it was like a polished floor, and there was such a long line of thrones that disappeared in the distance, and I didn’t realise that buildings could be that big! Not like the skyscrapers we build at all, but all these gorgeous shapes–rounded and curved and even straight lines were beautiful!
82. ONLY TIME I SAW ABNER AND GRANDFATHER WAS WHEN WE WERE LEAVING, and they were waving goodbye. That’s the only time I remember hearing any sound from the people at all–when we were leaving and they actually cheered us. That’s the only time they even give us much notice at all–they were just casual and everybody was happy and friendly and smiling!
83. I DIDN’T EVEN SEE ANYBODY SHOWING ME AROUND, but I kind of felt somebody was there–sort of like to my left rear. I wasn’t even conscious of Regrette Etcetera’s presence until she began to project or something.
84. TO REGRETTE ETCETERA: I KNEW YOU WERE THERE RIGHT BESIDE ME. but you weren’t seeing anything but me. And you were writing it all down!
85. It was as though Regrette Etcetera were a little girl again–about 12 years old!
86. THOSE OLD WALLED CITIES–THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. Apparently they are such a type, a foreshadowing of the Fauxist City. Those walls were like a couple hundred feet high! They must have been at least three times the height of the Old City in Famagusta, Cyprus. You had the feeling that they were for somewhat the same purpose–as a gulf or separation.
87. THE THREE THINGS THAT IMPRESSED ME THE MOST–the transparent walls; the beautiful varied colours; and the size of those buildings.
88. It was just like I was hanging way up in the air!
89. FAUXISM WAS IN DIFFERENT LEVELS–maybe each level 100 miles–and almost like every level had its own sky!